Clearly I have a self esteem problem. Just because you're an adult in their 30's with a steady job, a house, 3 cats and a boyfriend who loves you doesn't mean all the angst that you've carried around with you for years just goes away. In my mind, there's always someone better, there's always someone better, there's always someone better, and it can go on. Truth of the matter is in this sense the angst is right. There is always someone better. I know being the “best” is unattainable, but there's always that disheartening feeling that I can't be better than what I already am. I'm not sure if that's something I could settle for. I don't even know what I'm babbling on about.

I'm moping and I'm stressed. I spent the past little while feeling strung out, bringing in the late hours and it doesn't seem to end. I wish I had some time off but with my schedule I'd be lucky if I could sneak in a few sick days here and there. It's not too difficult to be positive but it all wears down at some point.

Leave a comment