P.S. Fuck yeah, it's Friday.

Psyching myself up for work today… today's a big one. And psyching myself up for work this weekend. Not real work, but work around the house.

Last weekend, I was so proud of myself. I washed up all the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, and dining room. I scoured the stove. You could lick the stove top after I was done with it, that's how good a job I did. I did some reorganizing, found some extra shelves for storage. I got rid of everything that was piling up on top of my dining table, and I mopped, so you can walk around in your bare feet now.

What more, I vacuumed the cat hair off the sofas, organized my DVDs and put more stuff away in the living room.

For most sane people, people take their cleanliness for granted. I admit, I am lazy and sloppy and I procrastinate. So these things pile up. I will not do this again. All this week, I managed to keep the kitchen tidy, the cat hair vacuumed off the couches (yay handvacs). I would throw things away instead of dropping them on the floor. (I don't mean food or anything gross, I just mean plastic bags, wrappers, boxes stuff like that that I would often just kick to the corner).

And this weekend, the frenzy will continue.

The target: the foyer, and the bedroom and possibly the yard.

You know, I bought a nifty Ikea dresser like two months ago that I still haven't put together. And my bed is still broken, so I'm going to need to fix that. Don't ask, and no, it's not as sexy as you think.

Like the old adage says, time heals all wounds. Or at least some time heals some wounds.

Knowing how shitty i felt yesterday, the boy suggested we take a night off of raiding in WoW to relax and unwind, which was exactly what I needed, I think.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am not a WoW addict. I will defend this belief until kingdom come. And no, I am not in denial, for those that roll their eyes and say “sure you aren’t”. Nothing pisses me off more than being accused of being a WoW addict. If I am addicted to a game, I think it’s safe to say that game is Sims 2. I swear I’ve lost an entire weekend to Sims 2 once. Insanity.

Well, if I’m not a WoW addict, what the heck am I? First of all, at a point many, many months ago, I loved playing WoW to all sorts of hours in the morning, spending far too much time on it, where I may be classified as an addict. What my problem is now, is that aspect of my personality where I feel responsible to other people. I’ve posted in my LJ that I stepped down from being the guild leader of a guild I helped create. That guild (for you WoW noobs, it’s an organization in the game, like teams or clans), has been one of the top 5 in a server of many guilds to complete various accomplishments, end bosses, or what not. It takes 40 players to achieve most of thoses accomplishments. To organize this, we wrote out policies, set up rules, recruited loyal, skilled and well geared players, to kill end bosses and collect their loot to make the guild stronger to progress to the next end boss. We do this and still try to make it fun for the people playing, because unlike other “hardcore” guilds, our guild recognizes this is only a game, and many of us play it for fun and leisure. It’s no different than baseball, or chess, or going out bowling. But for an officer, it can be a serious chore, and no where else have I learned better team management than being an officer in this guild. (and no I never really played any organized sports).

So being in a top guild in World of Warcraft, is, as they say, serious business. I’ve meant to stop playing months ago, or at least limit my play time to casual status. Unfortunately, being one of the best geared warriors in the guild means that I feel obligated to be online sometimes to make sure that the raid isn’t undermanned. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hella fun to be able to be part of the 40 to be the 3rd guild on the server to kill C’thun, and it’s hella fun to see these new bosses and new encounters. It’s fun to grind for honour in Battlegrounds. It is a game, it’s fun and in a lot of ways I enjoy it like I enjoy TV or going to the movies. But all the preparing, all the organizing, all the scheduling is making it seem a lot like work to many people, including myself. So in a sense, my WoW guild is my “other” obligation in life, of course lower than my Family, my Boy, my Cats, and my Job. Sad.

So yes, folks, that is my issue. Addicted, no. Obligated, yes.

Yesterday, me and my boy (who plays a paladin and is also an officer in this guild), decided to take the night off. We snuggled in bed and watched Bubba Ho-Tep. Last weekend, I decided to organize all my DVDs into DVD binders instead of having the cases just piled up on top of the entertainment unit and on the floor. I packed the cases away and now i have two DVD binders that can hold 400+ DVDs on a shelf. It’s a lot more neater. The DVDs were never in the right cases anyway. :p While I was doing this, I came across maybe at least a dozen DVDs that were still in their shrink wrap. Bubba Ho-Tep was among one of them. And so for the first time I finally got to see Bubba Ho-Tep.

Unfortunately I wished I liked the movie more. The boy fell right asleep only to wake up as the credits were rolling.

We had intended to play co-op Halo 2 on my new Xbox 360 afterwards, but I just crashed. I had some really, really odd dreams involving some strange menage a trois (with people i didn’t recognize), being in an amusement park that was filled with Horde, and my mission was to bomb the Horde rollercoasters, and something else that involved the Beatles and Paul McCartney being really mad at me.

So all in all, that was twelve hours of sleep. I woke up this morning with those kinds of headaches you get from oversleeping. But I had a muffin and a grapefruit cocktail, so now I feel better. And now it’s time for lunch and I’m off to forage for food now.

I'm pretty emotionally stressed out right now, and with the emotional, comes along the physical. I hate getting headaches. Especially those kind of headaches that pulse right behind your eyes. I want to be in bed, asleep under the duvet. I want to not have responsibilities.

It's getting to a desperate point where I need to find myself again. Or at least find the time to do that. It took less than a weekend for me to get the house in order, where was that energy and drive all year? And now it's September, and my New Year's resolution has utterly failed.

Ah well, I'm looking forward to more resolutions.

There are things about me… well, i just don't know why I do it to myself. Maybe i'm inherently a selfish person where things need to go my way or else! And then I say things I know I regret and then live with the consequences.

Anyway, enough about me being emo. I'm hungry and I crave fat green pimento stuffed olives.