I tried to get up earlier than this. I keep telling myself that I really want to get up early and go to the gym in the mornings, because I'm far too tired to do it at night. But of course, I'm foiled by my own body. I wasn't able to sleep well at all last night. I remember it being 2:55am before I was so frustrated at not being able to sleep, I just turned on the TV and watched the Food Network before I dozed off. At least that channel didn't turn into informercials at the stroke of 3.

It's fun being domestic. Yeah, I'd rather be cosmopolitan, but what can you do. I've given up on a night life in this city and my only hope now is to have more frequent trips to Toronto to see the boyfriend. Honestly, I would just love one weekend where I didn't have a plan, where I can just veg out and relax. I hate the idea that I have a huge list of things to do when I get home at night.
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I hate the idea that I've become a responsible person. That I take my job too seriously, and now I have to think about my life and take that seriously as well. I hate the idea that I'm becoming 34 this year, and I don't feel like I've settled down. I feel like it's getting too late to have children, something I've been thinking about a lot in recent years. I hate becoming emotional when I think of it. Where was all this ten years ago?

I think one year from now, things may be a little different. I hope things are going to be different. I have an interesting plan that will hopefully get me up and out and help me learn more about myself. I feel like I've become far too stagnant, and all my energy is dormant, contained in this dried up little ball. I really need to kick start my life again and the next little while will be very interesting, depending on if my ideas can survive a few nights or weeks of sleep. I'll probably need a lot of help along the way, though I won't mention what my plans are here, at least not yet. Even so, it's good to write about it, because whatever will happen, at least there's a reminder floating out there on the internet that I did have something in mind.

I spent a lot of time in my backyard this weekend, which is always a good thing. I seed patched the lawn, and planted sunflowers, cosmos and poppies, which hopefully we'll see blooming this year. The daisies I planted from seed in the front yard last year look like they're just about ready to bloom, the roses too. I've waited a year to see those daisies so the garden nerd in me is a little bit excited.

I was out on my balconey Saturday morning and I was watching the oddest exchange going down between a starling and a sparrow.  There was a sparrow chirping spastically and when I went to look, it looked like it was following a bigger starling around and freaking out on the bigger bird. There were a few more sparrows in the neighbourhood, but this one sparrow would follow the starling around attempting to hassle it. Upon closer observation, I noticed that the starling seemed to be eating something. It dragged it up on the fence, then tossed it onto my lawn. I was wondering if perhaps the starling had stolen the sparrow's food.

I went down into the backyard to do the daily “puttering” I'm getting myself in the habit of doing. The starling is still eating, the sparrow is on top of my shed, still chirping angrily at the starling. Whatever the starling is eating is all gooey and stretchy and I'm beginning to have bad feelings as I approach the scene.

The starling sees me and flies off. The sparrow is still on top of the shed. I look down, and what I'm seeing is the mangled half of another sparrow, it's one wing awkwardly spread out beside it.  The corpse's detached leg was a few inches away.  I'd like to think that the sparrow was crying spastically  to protect it's infant, friend or relative. I'm hoping my initial theory of the starling having stolen the sparrow's food wouldn't be the right one. In any case… eww.

.. or a blogger, or whatever the term-du-jour may be. Unfortunately for me, and then for all of you, everything so far is pretty non-exciting. The last thing I want to do is turn my BD journal into some lame domestic or housekeeping blog. The past few months, pretty much the only real excitement has been that. House work, a few renovations, gardening, landscaping, I'm a lazy and poor girl's Martha Stewart.

The thing is, everything isn't done yet. I wish I can show you before and after pictures of my bathroom renovations, but after the contractors left, i haven't bothered to complete the “little things”, like finish painting, wash the windows and install the new blinds.

My dad and sister rebuilt my closet, which is awesome… but again, I haven't finished painting it like I said I would. They also repaired a wall in my bedroom. For some reason, there was a “window like” structure on the wall against the bathroom tub. There was a sill and trim (nice trim, I may add), but just painted plyboard underneath. It was too shallow to be a decorative shelf or built in, and as a real window, the placement made absolutely no sense. It would have opened up into the middle of the house. When the contractor tore down the wall behind the tub, he found broken glass there. So there was a real window there. I'm boggled.

Ok, I'm rambling about the stupid window, when my point was, I haven't finished priming and painting over the plaster job that they did to fix the wall.

I *have* succeeded in painting my balconey and the wooden furniture out there. So I have a private lounge off my bedroom now to hang out like I used to when I first moved into the house. I am happy about that.

As for the garden, there's still a ton of things I need to do. I did a quick Google for “bamboo weed” and found out the name of the evil plant that keeps trying to invade a corner of my backyard. It's Japanese Knotweed. It would be prettier if I could keep it growing in just one area, not all over my lawn. Thanks Nature!

I'm pretty tired tonight. I just wish it were all done and I can rest. The boy is coming over this weekend, to help clean up I think. Fun times!